All products

Seattle Sucks Thorny Axe Shirt

On Sale

This Seattle Sucks Thorny Axe Shirt takes a friendly jab (or not, if you're that type) at our rivals to the north.

Please do not take these too seriously. Seattle is a fine city and there are lots of great things about it. Just not soccer. Or basketball, amirite?

We offer the Seattle Sucks Thorny Axe Shirt design in two styles:

FOREST GREEN (darker green) GILDAN G2000

One of the most popular shirts on the planet, this is a standard 100% cotton tee. They fit very true to size but order a size up to make it roomy or a size down to make it snug.

Sizes Small through 5XL


LEAF (lighter green) BELLA+CANVAS 3001c

This is a great unisex tee, with a lighter weight than the Gildan and a slightly trimmer fit. It works well for all genders, but does run on the smaller side so if you're unsure order a size up for a traditional fit.

Sizes Small through 4XL


Orders placed between August 1 and August 21 will start shipping on August 21, and will arrive in time for the August 27 Sounders Away match.

Orders received after August 21 will ship within 10 days.

Shipping is $3.50 for your first item, and free for any additional items.

A portion of all sales will go to the Portland Timbers Community Fund. LEARN MORE HERE

To express interest in ordering patches and/or stickers, PLEASE CLICK HERE


  • Image of Seattle Sucks Thorny Axe Shirt
  • Image of Seattle Sucks Thorny Axe Shirt
  • Image of Seattle Sucks Thorny Axe Shirt